I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
