i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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