I love black thongs
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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