Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
