I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
