I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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