The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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