why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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