Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
