Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How external is "for external use only"?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
