She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
