Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
