I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
