at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
