Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
