You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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