bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
