Having a random hookup so left but love u
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
