there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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