I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
