hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
this boner is exhausting
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
