dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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