Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
