Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
