Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
