Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
