You're a womanizer and a bitch.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
