boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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