Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Nobody cheats on THIS.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
