Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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