We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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