i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
