the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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