just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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