he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
