the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I intend to get homeless drunk
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
