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do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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