11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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