The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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