What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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