i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
