Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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