i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
