Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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