Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
