I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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