You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
