I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
