I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
