what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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