Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
