Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I want you more than these girls want KFC
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
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