I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I am one with the molecules
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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