if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
