Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
