she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
