Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
