I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
