Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize