the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
