it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
