There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got chris browned last night
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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